Hey, it’s party time. Come and join us for the perfect party. No near misses, no “oops, sorry moments”, only unadulterated fun.

Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? Are there any such parties, ever? Especially for the ones organizing them?

Of course, you can have them, provided, you plan them well. Plan them with military precision. Even then, there are chances that some things may go awry, but they’ll hardly be noticeable in the party melee if you provide for mistakes or goof ups.

God, what I wouldn’t give for such parties. I used to be skeptical. Are there such events, where one event melds seamlessly with the other in perfect harmony? Aah! A hostess’s dream, I used to think.

Well, since I’ve never claimed modesty as one of my virtues, I can say with quite pride that I’ve almost mastered the party scene. Like I mentioned at the very beginning, it’s all in the planning. Well begun is half done or something…I’m sure you get the drift.

Pay attention to the little details. It makes all the difference. I’m a great one for lists. Make a list so you don’t forget anything. Lists for number of guests, lists for shopping, lists for food etc.

Give a lot of attention to the food. In my opinion, good food makes for a great party. Plan a variety of finger foods and make sure there’s lots of it. Plan on displaying the food colorfully. Make sure you have provided for everyone. If there are any special requests like vegetarian food, diabetic food etc. make sure you’re on top of things. Make sure the food is convenient to eat, meaning, no messy, squashy, drippy items.

Invite guests well in advance. There’s nothing shoddier than inviting them at the last minute. Make sure they receive the invitations. Specify the party time. There’s something very quaint and charming about hand-written invitations. More personalized. Use your creativity when it comes to invitations. Make them fun but do not forget pertinent details like time, date etc.

If you have a dress code, make sure you mention it on the invite. If it’s a theme party, formal, semi-formal etc.

Plan where you’re going to be having the party. If it’s outdoors, make sure rain’s not going to throw a dampener on the party. If it’s to be a barbeque, make sure you have all the paraphernalia ready. Clean out the party area. Make adequate seating arrangements and make sure there’s enough space to move around and mingle or dance.

If the party is to be indoors, make sure you keep everything sparkling clean. Bathrooms to be cleaned out thoroughly, extra towels kept ready, adequate toilet tissue handy… And yes, if you’re finicky about spills and drips, make sure the carpet can withstand it or make do without one. Makes cleaning a lot easier after the party. Make sure the house smells good with some scented candles or potpourri.

Liquor is what makes a party what it is, but make sure the guest don’t over imbibe. Or if they do, make sure they don’t drive home. If guests have to bring their own liquor, make sure to mention it in the invitation.

Provide for lots of ice. You have such fancy ice trays these days. Make sure you have fruit juices ready to mix with drinks. Have a fruit punch ready. Provide for non-alcoholic drinks for the teetotalers.

If you allow smoking, make sure it’s not at the cost of the non-smokers. Have a separate smoking area which is well ventilated.

Have suitable decorations depending on the theme of the party. And of course, the main thing, the music. What’s a party without music? Have the right mix of music and if arranging for a DJ make sure he or she is efficient and competent. There’s nothing more disappointing than an indifferent DJ.

Take care to have appropriate lighting. Not too bright, not too dim. Personally speaking, very dim lighting makes me sleepy.

Tell guests where they have to park their cars. Make use of neighbors parking lots, after taking their permission, of course.

It’s not customary to take a gift for the hostess but it sure makes the hostess feel good and appreciated if you take her something, like her favorite chocolates or flowers.

There’s no reason why you can’t have some good games. They can be a real ice-breaker if the guests don’t know each other.

• Get set. Have fun. Have a great party. Nothing like a good party with the right crowd to elevate your mood. It’s party time!

To Summarize:

Your aim: To have a great party

Methods:

• Plan well
• Give a lot of attention to the food
• Invite guests well in advance
• Decide where you’re going to have the party, indoors or outdoors
• Provide for lots of ice
• Have suitable lighting/decorations
• Make parking arrangements and organize games

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Tags: attitude, efficiency, parties, planning

She’d realized she’d hit rock bottom. She knew she had to do something. Luckily for her, I was around to tell her that or she may not have recognized it for ages. She later told me that if it hadn’t been for me, she wouldn’t have been aware of it for the longest time. We went way back, friends since school.

I pointed it out to her. Her utter dependence on anybody and everybody for every small thing. Not the way you’re thinking. It was not that she was depending on them to do every little thing for her. No, it was the other way round. She was doing every little thing for the family, her parents, why, even the maid.

She found herself doing everything for the family. And they seemed to take it for granted. Even her husband. They had got so used to her doing every little thing, like even putting the toothpaste on to their toothbrushes every morning, setting out their clothes, handing out their breakfast, cleaning up after them. I was aghast.

I was shocked to see her hover around trying to hand her husband the car keys, his laptop, his purse etc. And he didn’t even acknowledge it. And what was truly amazing was that none of the family seemed in the least bit inclined to help her, let alone thank her for her efforts. Her husband left for work without even wishing her goodbye.

I rounded up on her once every one had left home for the day and asked her if she even realized what she was doing. Apparently not. She was bent on doing everything for everybody that she had forgotten to take care of herself. She seemed to have this utter dependency on people whereby she tried to do things for them so much so that they had took it as their birth right to be waited upon with not so much as even a tiny acknowledgement for her efforts.

Where did this come from? Was it because she wanted to be loved so much that she didn’t mind being every one’s doormat? Was she so insecure that she was scared that her family wouldn’t love her if she didn’t constantly keep doing things for them? Why and when did she start feeling that she and she alone was responsible for the family’s happiness? Did she need to keep doing other people’s work for her to feel appreciated?

Since when did she need to be forgiving of everyone’s mistakes except her own? When did she stop thinking of herself as not attractive? When did she stop thinking of her needs, her feelings, and her wishes?

Why, even her parents were making use of her. They would call and she would drop everything and rush over to them even at the risk of incurring her husband’s acute displeasure. Now that I think of it, it had always been that way. Even in school and college. Her parents had always taken her for granted. They never went out of their way to do anything for her. It was she who always did that. I’m afraid I had to be quite brutally frank with her.

Was that when it had started? Was it her parents’ lack of affection that had made her this way? They had never made any secret of the fact that they’d wanted a son.

She was the unwanted daughter or at least that’s what she had grown up thinking. She was always doing things a boy would have done. She tried to be everything a boy or a son would have been. She tried to be sporty and athletic while secretly yearning to learn the violin. But that would have been very girlish. So, it had always remained just that, a secret yearning.

She was amazed at what she’d let herself become. Had it not been for me (since I knew her from way back) she would probably never have realized it. Nobody in her family would have brought it to her notice. That was for sure.

Time for change. Yes. High time.

No more the doormat. Time to get her act together. Not that she could stop loving her family but there were going to be changes. No longer would people take her for granted. Her opinion would be considered too. She had a right to an opinion just like anybody else.

Wow. Did that feel great. Even talking positively felt good.

Detach yourself from people who mean you harm emotionally or physically.

Learn to care for yourself.

Learn to depend on yourself. Have confidence in yourself. Sign up for some self-help classes which teach you how to handle yourself or read up on it.

Take hold of your life and consciously change things which you have let slide.

You deserve to be loved. You should not let yourself be used.

Take charge of your life. Be your own person.

To Summarize:

Your aim: To be your own person

Methods:

• Don’t be a doormat
• Don’t let people take you for granted
• Don’t let people use you
• Learn to take care of yourself

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Tags: attitude, empowerment, happiness

There’s a lot of talk about global warming, pollution hazards, a green planet, conserving our natural resources. But only a small percentage of the world’s population are actively involved in actually doing anything about it. Are you doing anything to promote a green environment?

I’m afraid I was part of that segment which wasn’t doing anything much about it until recently. It was when I saw my son actively taking part in an environment protection drive organized by their school that I made up my mind to do something about it actively.

I know all of us, each and every one of us have to do our bit. It is a  humongous challenge and the only way to combat it is for every one to be involved. And even then we are only scratching the surface. But there are small little things which each one of us can do.

Like educating our children to go green. Only in my case, it was my son who made me more responsible. If your children’s school is not doing anything actively to protect the environment or teaching the children about the hazards of pollution, you can volunteer and bring about awareness in your locality.

You can advocate a “no plastic bags” code in your area’s malls and supermarkets or shopping arcades. Advise the use of reusable cloth bags or recycled paper bags.

Don’t buy bottled water. Carry your own reusable water bottle. Of course a lot of people justify by saying they reuse their water bottles but for every person who is reusing it, there are hundreds more who are throwing the bottles away and adding to the pollution.

Car pool wherever possible. You are conserving petrol and energy. And it’s easier on your pocket too. And the fact remains that while driving, excessive accelerating and breaking make a car less efficient. So, imagine if there were 3 to 4 cars going the same way when one will do. Car pooling makes sense if there are two or three children going to the same school or in the same direction at the same time. Don’t pamper your children excessively like I have seen a number of parents do by taking them individually. Not only are you spoiling your child but you’re also adding to the pollution of an already beleaguered environment.

If the appliances at home are old, at least 10-12 years old, then it’s time to give them a decent burial. Don’t cling on to old appliances. Look for new energy conserving appliances and replace the old ones.

Other gadgets like TV’s, DVD players, cell phone chargers etc. should all be switched off when not in use. In fact, unplug them even if it’s a pain every time you have to plug it in again when you have to reuse them. You can save a substantial amount of energy if you do so.

Grow plants which habitually grow in your locality or area as they would have a ready affinity to the local soil and water and you won’t have to use a lot of fertilizers or water. Going green will help keep the atmosphere cooler.

Lucky for me I live in a tropical country (India). I don’t have to use the clothes dryer. Natural sunlight does the work for me. If living where a clothes dryer is a must, use it as sparingly as possible.

Plant more trees wherever you can.

Print on both sides of the paper either at home or at work.

Instead of buying books and adding to the paper consumption (more books mean more paper which means more trees are getting cut), borrow from libraries.

Walk wherever possible. Or cycle up. In fact, you’d be saving on energy and gas. And think of the other benefits. You’d be way fitter.

There are loads more you can do in your own way. Only you need to sit down and think about it. Protect your environment. Go green.

To Summarize:

Your aim: To save the environment and go green

Methods:

• Educate your children to go green
• Use less plastic
• Carry reusable water bottles
• Car pool wherever possible
• Dump energy guzzling old appliances
• Plant more trees
• Borrow books from libraries to avoid paper waste

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Tags: attitude, enviroment, go green, habit, happy

It’s where you relax. It’s where you let down your hair. It’s where you can be just yourself. It’s your home. Make it a place which reflects your personality. Make it bright and roomy even if it’s a small place.

You need to be creative to get the best out of your home. Your home needs to reflect your moods and your likes and dislikes.. Don’t go by what others say will suit you. Only you know what you like. But if you have no idea about what could make your personality come through, take help from an expert.

Some pointers for you to make your home look roomy and brighter:

• De-clutter your home. Your favorite space and all other nooks and crannies should be free of clutter for you to let in positive vibes into your home. Keeping your home clutter free and sparkling clean is the first step to making a house into a home.
• As far as possible, let in natural light. There’s nothing like sunlit living rooms and porches. You must try to open up windows wherever possible.
• Avoid artificial lighting wherever you can. Though they look nice in the evenings, try alternatives like lamps. Light from lamps give a warm glow to a room and doesn’t hurt the eye. Or alternatively try using candles. They’re always a mood enhancer. And conserves energy too.
• Artificial lighting to be effective has to be discreetly used if a room has to look roomy. Even a small room can be made to look good with skillful use of lights. For e.g. if you use small lights and conceal it behind a sofa or a chair, it gives the room a pleasant atmosphere. You could use little “cone lights” which bounces light off on walls.
• And please try to hide all wires from sight. There’s nothing more unappealing than wires hanging or showing all over.
• If you like the outdoor look, keep some plants inside the house. There’s something absolutely refreshing about greenery inside a home. Or you could have an indoor fountain which is all the rage nowadays.
• Use mirrors liberally all over the house.
• If you don’t have provision for a fireplace, buy a free standing electric fireplace. In fact this may be a better idea as you can move it from room to room. There’s something very comforting about a fireplace and it gives both light and warmth.
• As far as possible, use light colors for the walls as this instantly lightens the effect of a room, even if it’s small. And it will be easier when you want to replace old furniture with new or buy new carpets or cushions. Light, natural colors compliment everything.
• Your furniture should match the walls. Don’t clutter up space with heavy furniture and pieces which are elaborately designed. With simple wooden furniture you can rarely go wrong.
• Keep the furniture arrangement simple. Arrange them symmetrically so the whole effect is spacious.
• Generally each room will have a focal point which will make the room look bigger like large picture windows or a plain expanse of wall or whatever. Decide which point in the room is your favourite and work all your other furniture and accessories keeping that as the focus. Like cushions, carpets etc.

To Summarize:

Your aim: Have a home which is a reflection of your personality

Methods:

• De-clutter your home
• Let in natural light
• Avoid artificial light wherever possible
• Use artificial light skillfully
• Use light colors for the walls
• Keep furniture and their arrangement simple

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Tags: attitude, beautiful, clean, efficiency, home

Got something to say? Then go ahead, write it down.

Do you feel strongly about something? Write about it.

People don’t listen to you when you talk? Just write about it instead.

Would love to be centre stage but don’t know how to? Write it all down first, you’ll have a clearer picture.

Just start writing. We frequently lose our thread of thought when we have something valuable to say and it’s all lost in the huge milieu of things which were worth being preserved but forgotten in the humdrum daily routine.

I’m sure there must be a writer hidden in every one of us. All of us have things of value to say but don’t know how to. To keep your writing skills polished, you not only need an attitude but also perseverance.

I have found that you need:

• A passion for writing. You must feel that you want to put down your thoughts and that you have something of value to say or something you feel so strongly about that you feel will be interesting to other people too. If you’re writing because you’ve been asked to or writing because you have to, then your writing will lack a certain chutzpah. It won’t be inspiring to anyone.
• If you’re an aspiring short story writer or want to author a book, you’d be smart to have a plan. Plan what you want to write and make some broad points. It’s very important to be focused here. It’s very easy to lose focus once you start writing unless you stick to some basic points because your thought flow will be faster than your writing.
• Never ever try to write like somebody else or imitate somebody. It’s good to emulate someone you admire or someone who inspires you but you’d lose your individual touch. For you to succeed writing well in the long run, you’ve got to be yourself. Write from your heart. With online resources freely available, it’s very tempting to take topics etc from there. Resist the temptation to copy anything outright. Always try and be original.
• There will be days when you just can’t write. You’ll feel like you’re all “written out”. But you have to write as often as you can even if it’s rubbish. Keep writing even if you have to chuck it all away finally.
• You may think what you’ve written is rubbish. But let an expert decide that. Yes, I understand self-criticism is what you need to keep prodding you to do better and like for all creative people, self-criticism is alright as long as it doesn’t stop you from writing altogether.
• Be a voracious reader. I’ve always found that it helps me write better.
• If you feel a “writer’s block” happens frequently, take a break. Have a social life. Meeting different kinds of people will help you write better. Subscribe to different magazines. Or if a website has interested you online, subscribe to their newsletters and be privy to a host of their articles which can get your creative juices flowing again.
• Don’t lose heart or give up even if you feel you’re not churning out anything of substance. Keep on at it and dream of the day you’re going to be typing out the last chapter or the final story of your book or novel.

Just write. Don’t over think. Keep on at it. Let somebody else be the judge and critic. Your job is to write. Only make sure you have something of value to write and be passionate about what you write.

To Summarize:

Your aim: To be a writer

Methods:

• Be passionate about what you write
• Be focused
• Be original
• Keep writing. Don’t give up
• Be a voracious reader

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Tags: attitude, confidence, efficiency, optimism, planning, prioritize