Are you getting the feeling “all is not well in the world” too many times these days? Do you feel jaded and cynical about people and relationships? Have you been feeling like giving up everything and just getting away from it all?

Join the club.

This is exactly how I had felt a few months back. It was a huge effort to even drag myself out of bed every morning. It was a chore having to dress myself and get down to working. It was an awful task to talk to people. I was groggy and grouchy all the time.

But things around the house had to get done. The children had to be sent to school, the laundry didn’t get done on saying abracadabra, the groceries had to be stocked up, the house cleaned…I’m sure you’ve got the idea by now.

Anyway, I realized things couldn’t go on the way they were. I decided to do something I normally never do. Introspect. Yes, I put the grey cells to use and came up with something startling. It was so simple. What I was feeling was nothing but a little bit of guilt, a certain feeling of inadequacy and a sure feeling that I was procrastinating. That was what it was.

Things had gotten too much for me. Work pressure was enormous at home and at work. And I had involved myself in so many projects that I had barely enough time to recoup before I had to start on the next one. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. There was a feeling of guilt because I knew I wasn’t putting aside any time for any kind of exercise though I had been medically advised to do so.

So, what could I do? I realized the thought of making big time changes was daunting to say the least. I felt too tired to tackle something like a total life change. In fact, I took a leaf out of my father’s book on this one. He is a contented man. A man satisfied with his lot. Very meticulous. Very time conscious. Scrupulously keeps appointments. Though he is a lot less active now, I now realize how he manages it. He’s always been after me to make some small but significant changes.

I  finally decided to implement  small changes in my life to get to that state of mind. Changes that were small enough to make me feel that I wasn’t being bogged down by something too big, but changes that were significant and things I had seen my father stick to religiously.

First on the agenda, I decided never to miss breakfast. No more just grabbing a roll or an apple on the way to work. I decided to make time for a proper breakfast.

Next comes the important one. I made up my mind to drink lots of water. Do you realize what a change it can make? I stopped feeling so tired all the time. I was a lot less grouchy. Think about it, how much of water do you drink in a day? The requisite 8 glasses? Hmm, I thought not.

The next one was to religiously stick to a skin-care routine. Cleanse, moisturize and tone. God, my skin has started feeling like, about ten years younger.

My exercise routine. Yes, I didn’t have enough time to hit the gym, yes, yes, you’ve heard it before. But this time I decided, alright, if I can’t go the gym, I’ll cut down on all those high calorie foods and consciously eat five portions of fruits and vegetables. Not only that, I will stick to food which are high on calories but good calories. Like almonds, walnuts, sprouts, baked fish etc.

Though I was heavy on to do lists, I realized there was no point in making them as I was not sticking to them. So, I just carry a note pad with me to jot down random thoughts which elevate my mood.

If you’ve been nurturing negative thoughts about a friend, a co-worker or a neighbor, quit doing so immediately. I did it and just tossed those feelings out. Nothing more to it and what a difference it makes.

A friend who’s into yoga told me, you can surely spare 10 minutes, or at least 5 minutes, oh, OK, at least 3 minutes from your busy schedule. In those 3 minutes, sit back and take deep breaths. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. Pay attention to your breathing. End of 3 minutes, see the difference.

Wow, I felt energized and alive in a way I hadn’t felt lately.

Have you, like me, always wanted to write, a short story or an article or something? Then do so. Just a page a day is enough if you don’t have time for anything more. I do just that and I don’t feel guilty now. I feel like I’ve had a productive day.

One significant other thing I have incorporated into my life is that the new me now orders groceries over the phone. No more arguing with the kids about what they can take and what they cannot. No more squabbles about which chewy candy to buy and what they cannot buy. Saves me tons of time and I actually think I may be saving a bit here too.

I recently learnt another valuable lesson. I have a friend, who’s as busy as me and she was the very nice and accommodating kind. She didn’t mind ringing up all the time. But it has to be reciprocated once in a while otherwise a one-sided relationship cannot survive. I hadn’t kept in touch with her as I would have liked to. But to my regret, she’s moved to another country and I may lose touch altogether now. Don’t take your friends for granted. Keep in touch at least once in a while.

I’ve learnt it’s alright to daydream or be a sloth for a day or for a few hours. Nothing more relaxing than that. So, make this change. Chill out every now and then and don’t feel guilty.

I think I could go on and on but it’s the small changes that have wrought the biggest change in me. The new ‘me’ is no longer a grouch and has a spring in her step. You don’t have to implement the same changes or even all of them. Even if it’s only three or four little changes, you’ll feel great. Try it out.

Little changes can make a world of difference.

Tags: attitude, eat right, happiness, relaxation, sleep

She’d just missed the last bus. As usual. The grouch (her boss) made no allowances for the fact that she was a single mom and had a young baby at day care and another toddler at home with a babysitter. She had to complete the report before winding up for the day. Though she’d worked hard on it the whole day, last minute hitches had ensured that she spent an extra hour on it and no surprise there, she’d missed the last direct bus which would have dropped her quite close to where she lived.

So, what was she going to do? This couldn’t go on. She was running frazzled and worse, her children were being neglected not to mention the horrendous costs of day care and baby sitters.

Something had to give and did. She fell ill and had to take almost three weeks off work which of course wasn’t appreciated at all by the grouch.

That’s when she started considering other viable options. Other options like working online from home which I suggested when I received a near desperate call from her. (I have been working online from home and generating a very decent income). I recommended that she look up this link http://WomensLearningPlace.com/20Ways.php

This link is a sales page to a book called “20 Ways To Make $100 Per Day Online”. I recommend this book to almost everybody I know as it is one of the most happening books of its kind. Once you go through the sales page, you’ll definitely want to try your hand at working online, even if it’s only part-time to begin with.

But you don’t have to be in desperate straits to start working online. There are umpteen reasons to start working online and for a lot of women I would say it’s a blessing in disguise.

Maybe you’re being bogged down by the timings at your work place and find you want  some flexibility. Maybe you find you’re not able to cope up with the demands placed on you both at work and at home. And you want to be able to decide how you work and when you work. Maybe you want the freedom to choose. If you work online, you’ll find that online jobs are structured around the specific task and you’ll suddenly find you have a lot more time on hand. You can work just the number of hours you want to. Maybe you want to make some extra money to cope with the current financial crisis.

And if you’re a mom, well, I personally think if you work online from home, you get the best of both worlds. You get to spend quality time with your children and you can get on with earning your money too. Even if you’ve set specific working hours, the family knows you are available in the event of an emergency or even better, maybe free to join them for lunch. You feel so empowered.

Or if you’ve just had another baby and going out to work is simply not an option for the next few years, then working online from home would be your best bet. You won’t feel torn between the two options, work and baby.

I’m aware of a lot of people who are bogged down by the paper work that it puts them off kilter. Or they are hopelessly disorganized about it. Working online would ensure that you are virtually paper free. Imagine the money saved on paper.

You’d be cutting down on start-up costs in case you have to rent out office premises if you work online.

And I have seen time and yet again the way so many people go through the motions of work like an automaton. There is a high level of boredom at the routine and repetitive work. Working online allows your creativity to blossom out.

Do check out this URL: http://WomensLearningPlace.com/20Ways.php for you to feel empowered. The sales page for the book “20 Ways To Make $100 Dollars Per Day Online” will be an eye-opener in your quest for working online. It’s a totally fluff-free book and a must-buy for those who want to work online and earn either full-time or part-time. It doesn’t espouse ideas of instant wealth or any sensational stuff like that. It just shows even the average Joe how he can generate at least $100 dollars a day by following the neatly categorized and totally doable ideas in the book.

You know what the best part of working online is? You can work and earn from anywhere, anywhere in the world as long as you have Internet connectivity. You can carry your work space with you. You can just work in your garden or from Timbuctoo if you so fancy. The world is your oyster.

And don’t forget to check out the URL: http://WomensLearningPlace.com/20Ways.php

Tags: attitude, empowerment, work online

Now that you’ve fulfilled your motherly, wifely duties, the children have grown up, at least grown up enough to take care of themselves, the relationship with the husband /partner going steady, well, what more could a woman ask for?

Hello, babe, that’s not all there is to it. How about your finances? Can you handle them independently?  Do you understand your finances enough to rest securely even if your husband/partner is not on the scene? How financially savvy are you?

Can you make informed decisions about your money or do you leave it all to your partner and shrug it off and say, “Heck, why would I need to understand money? My husband/partner is taking care of it and when he feels it’s necessary, he tells me about certain investments etc. I trust him completely”.

Hold on, hold on! Do you mean to say you leave it entirely to him? You don’t even bother to ask or take an active interest in major financial decisions? Honey, it’s not about trust or love or anything like that. You owe it to yourself to be aware of the household finances and not only that, you need to be handling it by yourself by now.

You’ve got to take charge; you’ve got to put yourself in the enviable position of understanding your money. There are many preconceived notions about women being the spenders, not the earners, that women primarily love to shop but don’t know how to grow money or create additional money. And then there are those comments you have to listen to about how men buy what they need but women buy because they want something.

Now, I’m not an overt bra-burning feminist, but such comments irk. Gone are the times when women were the nurturers and men the providers. No longer is it savvy for you to be ignorant of where your money is being spent or invested on.

If you’re a woman who has to go out and earn her money, you’d be sensible and have a PLAN. You’ll have a plan to save, invest and spend your money and have it properly charted out according to priorities. And you’d be financially savvy if you were to review your finances periodically, every month or three months or six months or  whatever your plan is.

If you’re a stay at home woman and if you don’t already have one, invest in an education. You may probably be content to keep the home fires burning now but you’ve got to have a contingency plan. What if your husband/partner were to suddenly become bankrupt? You need to be able to run the show. It’s all very well to have a partner who’s your bank but jeez, babe, don’t be naïve, you need to be able to stand on your own feet.

Keep the dialogue box open. Every time you or your partner wants to spend on something big, consult each other if it’s not there in the PLAN. Talk about your finances and your debts and review it frequently and make changes according to changing times. You don’t want to be unprepared if caught unawares like in the current financial crisis.

Read up and keep abreast of the latest financial trends and news. You’ll have a very good idea of how to manage your money. Are you aware of current loan interest rates? No? Then that’s the first thing you need to educate yourself on.

Take charge. Be aware. Be financially savvy. Change your mindset. Show the world and your partner you can be smart and financially savvy about your money.

Tags: attitude, efficiency, finances, money, planning, prioritize

Has it ever happened to you? Have you gifted somebody something only to have it returned or exchanged or seen it being gifted to someone else or told that the gift was not to the recipient’s taste?

It sounds crass and utterly rude and absolutely flouts etiquette rules while making you feel you don’t want to be the gift giver. But there have been any number of occasions when it’s been done and to my utter chagrin I have to admit to having done it myself once.

Though I tell myself it was a one-off thing, I realize now that I had been incredibly insensitive.

It happened when my husband bought me this dress which he liked and thought would suit me. I now try to take refuge in the argument that I was young and foolish then and tell myself that I am much more tuned in to people’s feelings now. But that’s not going to assuage my husband’s hurt feelings.

Well, you guessed what comes next. I didn’t like the dress and with unholy haste went and returned or exchanged it or something. I don’t even remember now, but what I do remember was that my husband’s feelings were hurt and for a very long time he never ever bought me anything on his own and never ventured an opinion on anything I bought either.

How do you handle it? You’ve probably gone to a lot of trouble trying to pick out something you think is just right for the other person only to be told that she no longer likes it? Or worse, she asks you for the receipt so she can exchange it for something she “really wanted or liked”.

One way to handle it would be to tell the person that you went to a lot of trouble to pick out the gift and trust she likes it or ask her if she would have preferred a gift voucher so she could pick out the gift herself.

Or if your feelings are really smarting, you could stop giving gifts to the other person, if you personally ask me. I think it would be a lot easier on your pocket and on your feelings too.

Or you could straight away tell the person that you were disappointed she didn’t like the gift and take her with you next time you go gift shopping for her. This, if the person really matters to you and you really do want to gift something which the person likes.

But one thing you have to make sure while gifting is that the gift be appropriate and/or thoughtful and not something which you’d personally like for yourself. If it’s inappropriate, don’t be surprised if the person is not gracious about it. I remember once receiving a goldfish in a bowl and hadn’t the foggiest idea of how to go about taking care of it and I didn’t want to either.

Similarly other pets. You can’t go around giving somebody a puppy or a kitten and then feel bad if the person turns and around and gives it away to the neighbor’s child or whatever. Your feelings may have been hurt but did you bother to find out if the person is maybe allergic to pets or maybe she just doesn’t have that kind of time which goes into taking care of a pet?

You can never be sure if every gift will be appreciated. Sometimes even if it’s been very thoughtfully picked out, you know it may be looked at askance. Just tell yourself the thought was good and do a rethink next time. You win some, you lose some.

Tags: attitude, feelings, gifts

Wait! Before you start reading this, tell me, are you generally squeamish when it comes to discussing  problems affecting “those” unmentionable parts of the body which you feel are better forgotten about rather than talked about? Do you go with the adage” If you don’t know anything about it, then you don’t need to talk about it“? Are you the kind who feels that if you wait long enough the problem may just go away, by itself? Hmm, I can see that…

Then, I’m absolutely sure you have to read this. You probably wouldn’t even know if you had a problem or even if you already have one.

Do you know what yeast infections are? Or did you think that it was something to do with the baking yeast your mom used in her baking? I’ll tell you why I want to tell you about this. A couple of days back an old friend called up saying she needed a shoulder to cry on. So a lunch date was organized and we met up and I realized she needed more than a shoulder. My friend went on to tell me about this rather mortifying problem she has. It seems for the past six months or so, whenever she’s had intercourse, she’s had a lot of pain. And she didn’t want to go tell a doctor about this. You women mystify me. What is the problem? Who else can you talk to about such things? Anyway, I immediately realized the problem as I had had a similar problem a few years back. Lucky for me I’m not the shy, retiring sort.

To get back to yeast infections. They are also known as candida albicans and are a type of  fungus that causes an infection which is caused by an overgrowth of yeast organisms. It could happen to anybody, at any age and it can infect men or women and children as well. It occurs mainly on the skin and the gastrointestinal tract. It’s a fungus which thrives in moist, damp places and hey, don’t stop reading, this is where you start paying attention. This is where you start finding out more about the causes and the preventive measures you can take to protect yourself against chronic yeast infections.

For e.g. “Damage to the surface of the skin: friction, moisture, and heat can injure the skin surface. Such conditions occur below skin folds, such as below the breasts, or in the armpit or groin, or between the toes. When warm moist skin surfaces rub together, the protective surface breaks down and provides a chance for yeast to invade below the surface. People who keep their hands wet for long periods of time, such as bartenders or dishwashers, can develop yeast infections on their hands.”

Sound awful, doesn’t it? Women are more prone to it, given the nature of the infection. Vaginal itching and irritation is an indicator that you’re suffering from a probable yeast infection. So is painful intercourse. That’s the problem my friend has. She has a yeast infection. I recognized the symptoms immediately. And I agree, it can be pretty embarrassing having to talk about it. Not only can you have painful intercourse, sometimes you can have vaginal discharge, vaginal odour etc. A lowered immune system and poor health can also cause yeast infections.

We now know yeast infections can occur on the skin and skin folds. And they can be pretty persistent and stay around for a long time if not treated properly and that’s why they’re called chronic yeast infections. But did you know yeast infections can occur on nails, as a diaper rash, as thrush or mouth and throat yeast infection, as a penis yeast infection and even during pregnancy?

Discoloured nails, flaky and ridged nails, fragile and brittle nails could also mean a yeast infection.

A diaper rash or white patches, pain and weeping areas or a bright red rash could mean a yeast infection.

Bad breath, white patches or cracks at the corner of the mouth could again mean yeast infection.

Itchiness, redness, white spots, pain on urination or a white discharge from the end of the penis could mean yeast infection.

Like I told you, yeast infections thrive on moist and damp conditions. So make sure you wear dry, comfortably ventilated clothing at all times. And especially your under garments. Reserve those itty bitty provocative, synthetic pieces for some very special occasions and stick to comfortable cotton ones. Maintain a healthy diet with lots of liquids and leafy vegetables and fruits. Avoid carbohydrates and sugar. Don’t stay in wet swim suits for longer than necessary. Make sure you are properly lubricated during sexual activity.

But do take advice from qualified health care professionals. Every treatment has to be different. It needs to be individualized and specific. What suits one person may not suit another.

But to get an exact idea about yeast infections you need to check out this URL: http://womenslearningplace.com/fast-yeast-relief.php  You’ll find a sales page for a book by Sarah and Robert Summer, “Cure Your Yeast Infections the All-Natural Way”. Sarah Summer,  the author says she’s a “former yeast infection sufferer” herself. What could be a better testimonial for the book?  You can clear all your doubts about yeast infections if you buy the book and rest easy knowing that it’s a pretty common problem and a lot of people go through similar symptoms. I read the book and I found she takes you step by step through the plausible causes, symptoms and natural remedies while talking about other OTC medicines too. It’s a very  comprehensive, thoughtfully put together book designed to put  to rest anybody’s doubts and queries about yeast infections.

Though chronic yeast infections sound really awful, proper information can really help you overcome the infection quite easily and simply. Many certified health care professionals swear by tested natural methods. Again, I reiterate, any treatment has to be tried out only under certified medical guidance.

And just to remind you again, go to the link: http://womenslearningplace.com/fast-yeast-relief.php 

Tags: attitude, chronic, happiness, yeast infection